The Thoughts From Which I Hide

by Vehemence

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1.
Now that you understand You will go peacefully But I still regret Not hearing you pleading Pulling you closer feeling your breasts Pressing so firmly, aroused! I take your life, just to feel the ecstasy My knife in you, as you are my willing victim To caress your flesh, and to feel the blood soaked moisture My only regret, you cannot feel this more than once Your breasts swollen to the touch Warm breath drops upon your neck Closing your eyes so tightly Anxiously await my next move Insert deep into you Womb like warmth of your cunt Further I drive my arm Until I reach my elbow Pulling you closer feeling your breasts Pressing so firmly, aroused!
2.
I can still see my reflection in your Blood soaked eye as you sob A last farewell severing all of my passion Bullshit, your words such pain You have created this chain reaction My sorrow to hate and my hatred to violence The only thing that I really desired was For you to give me a reason to hate you And now that I have this, there is nothing to stop me I will destroy you, as you to my psyche For this pain is never to be forgotten With my mallet I swing crushing the bones in your pelvis Y ou cry for some sympathy, I do not fucking think so Your pain has only just begun pulling backwards Expose your intestines, your eyes begging My pain is forever your cries cannot compare This emptiness is soon to consume you Blood pools underneath us from severed arteries My smile reminds me of the times we've shared Puncture, remove, remorse, sorrow Your death, my joy, your pain, my life Smashing, tearing, ending your reign Supreme no more, I am my own As you quiver, await the end My words ingrained always in you I need to know that I'll never see your face again Digging deeply under your flesh peeling so slowly The skin pulls away bearing facial muscle tissue As convulsions subside your soul leaves your corpse Puncture remove Remorse sorrow As you quiver I need to know that I'll never see your face again I can still see my reflection in your Blood soaked eye as you sob A last farewell severing all of my passion Peel your flesh , passion growing deep inside me Cut and push , my knife a fatal phallus Replace with my throbbing swollen cock Your corpse still, but still warm and perfect for me Taste the blood, the time has come to savor your death Say goodbye, my love for you down to nothing Goodbye
3.
I could tell you tales of morbid visions, thoughts from which I hide The fear within this shell that I call my soul reflects the darkness This pit of agony into which I have been cast by those who do not see the pain Draining down you inner thigh, what you knew as sex Nails I drive deep into the vagina, ceasing the piercing screams What was once your cunt is now my throbbing toy I drive the hammer deeper to block the pain from my mind This bloody whore who I once told I loved Has become a pile of mangled flesh swarming with insect As I dissect her unborn fetus I hear her whisper one last cry Begging her false prophet for forgiveness, I rape her in the name of Jesus Christ I feel no shame for this disgrace, this atrocity Her very existence being an abomination to humanity There are so many like her waiting to be dead My insanity is my creativity while clearing out my mind These things that I have done are purged from memory But those which linger turn my vision black I wish I could turn my hatred on myself, I want to die But there is a dark force which seems to hold me back Pleading with her god to make my torment stop Hearing my own cries, I drive myself deep Hoping she lives through my climax so she can choke On the steaming slop which i spurt all over her face That whore must die I want this vision of torment to live forever in my mind To stifle the agony that tears ravenously at my soul Her death will secure my piece of mind for now But soon another cunt will die for Satan
4.
Smile at me again, but I know what's on your mind It's so easy for you, tell me what I want to hear Damn your lies, sliding my blade across your face I can smile at you and terror courses through your veins I know how you feel, and I feel just the same Deep in my mind, the sledge is raised to remove your brain Verbally I lie but mentally I'm raping your corpse Dreaming of your extinction, I smile and tell you you're my friend They look at me and they think I'm just like them I will show you how I really feel Preparing for a vision of hell The incision is made under the left tear duct Gliding slowly across the jugular, my hand warm and moist Across the breastbone exposing the glistening ribcage And finally arriving at the vast cornucopia of organs in your lower abdominal area Your death pleases me, you smile at me no more, stiffened corpses cannot smile Your words cannot hurt, your tongue is stapled to my wall Fuck you and your lies, your mouth is now my urinal I can smile at you, I am happy with what you've become They look at me and they think I'm just like them I will show you how I really feel
5.
No One Wins 06:23
The walls cave in on me, this life that you call mine You smile say you love me, I want to smash your face My torment, my prison, why must life be this way I close my eyes to see my mental death of you My tears spill from the corner of my eye Stumbling upon the realization No one wins Rejection, ostracized, become to numb to love They say that they're you friend, you wanted so much more Companion, a lover, you wont let me love you Raising my fists in rage, I curse gods high and low My tears spill from the corner of my eye Stumbling upon the realization No one wins I feel the oppression of this life that's inflicted upon me You scoff at misery that I collapse under the sheer force of Your complete ignorance has me screaming rage and hatred for you You are an imbecile and it is for that fact that you must die How can you deceive yourself with lies Why must you say fucking blatant non-truths Admit it if you must hate me And then we won't pretend to be friends Tidal waves of anger cascade into rivulets Of thought that I must learn to get under control I must think, organize, and come to terms with this No matter how hard I try I won't win My tears spill from the corner of my eye Stumbling upon the realization No one wins
6.
SEE THE SUN RISE CASTING LUMINOUS SHADOWS BATTLE FIELD LITTERED WITH BLOODY WRETCHED MORNING AIR CRISP WITH THE STENCH OF THE SUFFERING DESPAIR EMANATES FROM THE MELANCHOLY SHELLS NAMELESS FACES, SCATTERED REMNANTS NOT AS MANY DEAD AS I WOULD HAVE WISHED SURVEYING THE WRECKAGE I PRETEND TO CARE DIGGING FURIOUSLY I FRANTICALLY SEARCH HEARING THEIR PLEAS AND QUICKENING MY PACE I UNEARTH A ROOM QUICK TO LOOK INSIDE CRIBS OVERTURNED TINY BODIES LIE BROKEN MY JOY IS SO VERY HARD TO HIDE NAMELESS FACES, SCATTERED REMNANTS NOT AS MANY DEAD AS I WOULD HAVE WISHED BUT NOW I HASTEN MY EFFORT GRABBING A LIFELESS CHID CORPSE SHOVING BROKEN LIMBS INTO MY SACK MY PALMS MOIST WITH BLOOD BEFORE OTHERS ARRIVE I FLEE, NO ONE WILL FIND ME YOU ALL SUFFER MOTHERS WEEP THINKING OF THEIR PERISHED CHILDREN DOOR OPENS TO REVEAL A PLACE OF SUFFERING MY VICTIMS I CAST DOWN INTO A DARK CORNER REMOVE LIMBS RELEASING MY BLOODY LUBRICANT! MASTURBATE SEVERED HEAD SO MANY MORE TO KILL KILLING CHRISTIANS OR SIMPLY MAIMING THEM ONE WAY OR THE OTHER THEY MUST BE FORCED TO KNOW THEIR GOD IS DEAD AND SO IS CHRISTIANITY AND NOW GOD'S NAME IS DRAINED FOR ALL ITS WORTH DIE CHRISTIAN MOTHERFUCKER HOW MANY LIVES MUST BE TAKEN AWAY JUST TO HAVE A ROTTEN CORPSE ON MY DICK BUTCHERING A CHILD AND SAVING SEGMENTS I MUST RETURN SOON TO THE SCENE OF MY CRIME NAMELESS FACES, SCATTERED REMNANTS NOT AS MANY DEAD AS I WOULD HAVE WISHED THIS STRUCTURE I CRUSH JUST TO MASTURBATE WITH A LIFELESS CHILD CORPSE
7.
Flesh Prisms of color radiate from your eyes Through these slits you view your misery Death lurks deep into your rotting soul Brought to the surface by a chemical aroma Life has given up on you in your domicilic tomb Your dead children clutching one another Hidden in the corner fleeing from hunger Steaming pus oozing from their swollen orifice Broken glass in one hand, blood caked, stiffened Swollen arteries, hardened and purple Vomit in the other, putrid and foamy Holding the severed head of your faithful wife Her bitching intolerable, now she suffers Rotting limbs scatter the surface around you Living was their reason to embrace death Dying was the only way for them to live Giving away your worthless life It wasn't hard embracing hell Feeling so cold lying in flames Satan loves you for what you've done Lying in flesh, the screams echo Drowning in blood, eaten alive Over and over, raped by demons Never ending screams of despair Turn and see a beautifully putrid sight Corpses of your children fusing to your chest Burning flesh drips liquidly from their faces The torment you caused them they reflect Into your soul, You devour rotten flesh to Remove it from your own But there is no end to this pain and you laugh Embracing hell and enduring the torture Sinking languidly into the misery and hatred I lament the sheer pleasure I derive from this
8.
Enveloped by waves of violently burning hatred Pulling from all sides, nothingness beckons persistently The knowledge of utter humanity and its toils I can feel my own insides in full view of my enemy Left behind, forgotten To think that your cries and heard -an impossibility Left to suffer without justification -alone He who saved so many will never save again Non-truths and deception roll down his dirty cheek Never to repent to suck a filthy fucking liar The Christ of those unwilling to make their own way A mind open to images of a divine bliss The only way to enter is to stop living life Enveloped by waves of violently burning hatred Pulling from all sides nothingness beckons persistently Giving away your love gift To the god who speaks through man How jaded your simple little mind has become He who saved so many will never save again Have you ever met your god face to face So called miracles but how can you know A simple explanation of your pathetic dependencies Bow before the altar and all your sins are washed away Just your peace of mind transforming into image An idol for all to fear and beg for forgiveness from But where have all your miracles gone Without your belief you find no meaning This shallow story written so long ago Why can't these sheep awaken A loose knit collection of rules and regulation Calling for one to give ones self to a filthy fucking super-hero Walk on water, heal leper, where has this magician gone Understand the error presented by the tellers of folk and lore Releasing this source of all my anger Letting go of Sunday fucking fairy tales The knowledge of oneself should take priority I will never bow before your Christ of a forgotten time

about

Self-released debut album. Recorded in 1999, originally released on CD format in 2000. Available digitally for the first time.

credits

released August 8, 2015

Nathan Gearhart: Vocals
Andy Schroeder: Drums
Bjorn Dannov: Lead Guitar
Scott Wiegand: Guitar
Mark Kozuback: Bass, Vocals

Guest vocals on "Nameless Faces, Scattered Remnants" by Justin Eavenson of Brides Of Christ, and Richard Medina of Occision/ex-Nuctemeron

Keyboards on "Reconditioning The Flock" by Jason Keesecker

Cover art: John Chavez

Vehemence Logo: Scott Wiegand

Lyrics: Nathan Gearhart

Music: Bjorn Dannov

Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Jason Coleman at AAA Audio, Glendale, Arizona, 1999

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Vehemence Phoenix, Arizona

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